The French are the only country to have a fascist organization officially declare what is and what is not FRENCH.

Our Webster's dictionary is supposed to reflect our natural language and provide definitions for words that are faithful to how we English speakers actually speak. In France they do it the other way around, the government decides what words are supposed to mean. The very essense of FASCISM is encoded into how the French think about their own language.

For a long long time - from the 1960s to the 1990s - the French refused to allow the word Blue Jeans to be used. Denim was not allowed to be called Blue Jeans because they hated that the French public had copied a word from America. American Hippies made blue jeans hip across the world. Suddely all the French young people wanted the "blu jensss...."

Despite this government blockade on language, the word Blue Jeans has been used in the streets of France since the 1960s. The french public still thinks in terms of Blue Jeans - though if you're an American or British person asking for Blue Jeans, the french will likely pretend they don't know what you're talking about... the same way they often pretend they don't speak English at all. That's just the particular brand of asshole the French turn out.

Even now, officially the word for Blue Jeans is Jeans... Jean's is less threatening to the French because it sounds like a first name or something. It was the phrase that upset them the most - particularily because Blue Jeans puts the color in front of the noun like we do in English. In french, you'd say BIKE - RED (bicyclette rouge)... Not RED BIKE (rouge bicyclette)... So the French should have been asking for Jeans Bleu.. but instead were asking for Bleu Jeans...

While expressions like 'Le Weekend' and 'Le Fast Food' have been commonplace for years, they have been joined by numerous contemporary ones culled from modern British and American culture. These include 'le hoodie', 'le rapper', 'le hands free', 'le hold-up', and even 'le reality TV'.

All are used by French youth to sound 'cool', as in 'C'est cool!' It's reassuring to know that the French youth realize how uncool France and the French language are.

The Lanaguage Police in France also got really, really pissed off about ASAP. The abbreviation is the latest term to fall foul of the Gallic word police, the Académie Française, which says it is 21st-century rubbish even though all the French people are using it now.

The Immortals, as academy members are known, have published a damning condemnation of ASAP in their ongoing campaign to protect what is known as "the language of Molière".

"This abbreviation of as soon as possible, which is far from transparent, seems to accumulate most of the defects of a language that hides its contempt and threatening character under the guise of modern junk," the Académie writes.

"The use of developed French forms would be more relevant and would not feature this unpleasant and restraining nature. It is a safe bet that the urgency of a request would be indicated in a more refined manner, and the answer would not be any slower."

It goes on to suggest "dès que possible" as the appropriate response.

Hey idiot IMMORTALS.... "Dayyy Que poss-ib-leee takes" about 5 times as long as ASAP. ASAP was designed to be fast - like Roger that!!! The French are some of the stupidest people on Earth - that's why they try and regulate their language. These illuminati "Immortals" are like the biggest jokes amongst a people that has become a massive joke. Do they live forever or something???? HAHA HAHA...

And apparently the immortals don't understand what language is supposed to do - enable communication. ASAP is popular because it's effective. It's effective because everyone knows what it means, it's fast to say, and it gets the job done. The Illuminati Immortals think it is there place to tell the French what words they are allowed to use and when. This is even built into the Rothschild Illuminati French Constitution that defines France's government.

The French obsession with linguistic policy dates from before the 1500s. A single official language is a strong marker of national identity and indeed the linguistic unity of France has been a policy aim of all French leaders from the kings of the Anciens Régimes to the presidents of the Fifth Republic. Language laws were being enacted with gusto, in particular, from the late 1800s onwards. The Jules Ferry laws of 1882, which secularised the French education system also designated French as the exclusive language of educational instruction. These laws were extremely regressive from a linguistic point of view, as they contributed to the forcing of many of France's regional languages into near extinction.

This langauge genocide was part of a larger illuminati plan to destroy the areas of France that still were culturally related to the descendants of Jesus Christ. The French Cathars were an entire Army descended from Jesus Christ who lived in France and were mostly exterminated by the Spanish Inquisition in the 1300s. The Languages that the Illuminati Jewish French targetted for extinction - Basque, Breton, Catalan and Occitan - were all related to communities who like the Cathars were descended from Jesus Christ. The Spanish government is murdering Catalan people in Spain right now in concentration camps for the same reason.

Because of this policy of educational monolingualism, French children were often beaten and forced to wear a "dunce hat" for speaking any language other than French at school. As happened with the Irish language in Ireland, the lack of any official backing for regional languages led to these languages gaining an inferior status, not only on the legislative books, but, crucially, in public opinion too. By 1940, there were no new monolingual speakers of regional languages and only one in four people spoke a regional language at all.

Since the 1950s, there has been a consistently defensive and protectionist approach by successive governments towards the French language to the detriment of the other languages of France, particularly demonstrated, in the great tradition of French bureaucracy, by the creation of statutory institutes charged with the promotion and protection of the standard French dialect. These institutes are under the charge of the French Ministry for Culture and often comically referred to as ‘the language police'.

As the English language started to become the dominant global language, French language policy took account of this, and these institutes, the first being the Haut Comité pour la défense et l'expansion de la langue française, was set up by de Gaulle in 1962 to promote the French language and also to combat the growing number of Anglicisms being used in the French language.

The Loi Toubon (or the Loi Allgood as it is wittingly named by its opponents) of 1994 made the presence of any language other than French in advertisements, government publications, workplace memoranda etc. illegal. This law, although the basis for some successful lawsuits, is circumvented on a daily basis.

The successor organisation to De Gaulle's Haut Comité, namely, la Délégation Générale à la langue française et aux langes de France, under the auspices of the Ministry for Culture is charged with creating French alternatives for Anglicisms which appear in everyday French. The new French words and phrases are almost completely ignored by the French in favour of their English alternatives, who continue to talk about ‘cloud computing' rather than ‘informatique en nuage' and hashtags rather than ‘mot-dièses'.

The academy was established in 1635 by Cardinal Richelieu, King Louis XIII's chief minister, but was shut during the French Revolution and then restored by Napoleon Bonaparte.

Its 40 members, each elected by fellow members, hold office for life and are committed to preventing the pernicious spread of English terms. It has even campaigned against official recognition of French regional languages.

In February last year the academy elected its first British Immortal, Michael Edwards, 75, a poet, critic and literature professor from Barnes, in south-west London.

In the past measures taken by the French to combat the influx of English phrases have included government censorship of comics and financial support for the French film and French language dubbing industries.

Because of this fascist organization of their very language, French has some really weird archaic things in it.

Take for instance how they describe some of the sounds their animals make. French Cows apparently aren't like Cows in the rest of the world who say MOOOOOO!!!!. In France cows say "MAAARRRR..." And Mice Say: "weee.... wee... weee." And pigs say: GroANG.... GroANG.... not oink oink.... The French live in a bizarro farm world according to their language.

French Animal Sounds (French - It's Easy!) from Tim Bradford on Vimeo.