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ELON MUSK - TUNNEL GNOME WITH A FEAR OF HEIGHTS

Elon Musk really loves tunnels. They are like his favorite things ever. He is like a big tunnel gnome.

Elon even created a company called the boring company so he can make tunnels everywhere. He also likes Submarines a lot since they can go into caves which are really like big tunnels. Elon's whole fixation with his submarine rescueing the thai soccer team was because he likes tunnels and he thought it would be cool to drive a submarine into a cave since a cave is like a tunnel.



Recently Elon suggested that LA should build a tunnel from Union Station to Dodger Stadium. There has already been a suggestion to do a gondola from Union Station to Dodger Stadium which sits on a natural high plateau nearby but Elon thinks that's way too cool and we should do a tunnel instead. Elon doesn't get the greatness of being able to see LA from a flying Gondola while you go to a Dodger Game. He thinks dark tunnels are way cooler and gnomes are afraid of heights.



Elon hired the LA council to hold a meeting on his fabulous tunnel idea for Dodger Stadium since most people thought he had probably been smoking weed while high on Ambien again. You never know what can come out of a tunnel gnome's mouth.

Elon is serious though, he really believes LA should ditch that whole Gondola thing and built a tunnel in Earth Quake Country. Just cause you know people love dying underground while suffocating to death a lot more than if they fell out of a Gondola and got a great view of LA before they die instantly.



The sparsely attended “public scooping meeting” hosted by the city was held in leftfield at Dodger Stadium. Elon wants to call his tunnel the Dugout Loop because one of the coolest things about tunnels is you get to name them. Elon the tunnel gnome named his first tunnel when he was 5 - he called it mommy.

During the meeting, instead of baseball scores and dramatic replays that would excite baseball fans, the stadium’s scoreboard flashed wonky descriptions of the environmental review process looking at the project’s significant impacts created by borrowing tunneling equipment underneath major parts of Los Angeles including neighborhoods that were built over 100 years ago. Elon loves the environmental review stuff, it's so cool all the damage his tunnel is going to cause.



The tunnel gnome's so excited about his tunnel, he doesn't really know anything about baseball though. They don't have that in South Africa they have cricket and Kimbal used to hit him with cricket bats so Elon doesn't like baseball really. It's not the sort of game for tunnel gnomes anyway.

At the meeting, various LA Council people who Elon paid way too much money for a Tunnel Gnome with a soon to bankrupt company to pay, said various nice things about Elon's tunnel. Elon the gnome was very proud of them.

Former Councilman Tom LaBonge, speaking in favor of the tunnel, said a similar high-speed tunnel should be built to the Hollywood Bowl. “Dig a hole there, too, Elon -- Go you Tunnel Gnome.. GO!” he said.