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GREEN EGGS, HAM AND TIGER WOODS

Tiger Woods and masters. How cheating works in the Illuminati now.

99% of the people who are on your TVs as professional golfers today are the heads of illuminati organized crime families. They have absolutely no skill and no talent. They pay the Illuminati for the right to pretend to be golfers.

Here's how the cheating works. On the first level, the players have all been partially lobotomized so that their bodies can be run by a super computer - Big Blue. Big Blue controls their bodies like puppets. The computer figures out the specific angles at which to hit the ball, decides how much force should be used and the player say Ricky Fowler, Justin Thomas or Patrick Reed - is just like a robot that exectutes the computers decision. Without their cybernetic linkup they wouldn't even be able to hit the ball off the T.

Despite this cybernetic cheating, the players still can't play very well. They're like robots that misfire all the time and can't execute their tasks. The next level of cheating helps correct for this. The Illuminati uses this Alien Technology found at Roswell to play out things in multiple universes.

The Jade Eggs allow them to perform the play in a 1000 universes at once. In each Universe, something slightly different happens. The Illuminati can pull the video feed from whatever universe they want, so even if you miss 999 times, they can pull from the 1 universe were you didn't miss.

These alternative universes are what Stephen Hawking's last paper was about. (BTW, Stephen Hawking is not dead, he's being kept a prisoner of war by the illuminati in Australia).



The Big Bang suggests that our universe is one in a "multiverse" of infinite parallel universes. Hawking's paper posits that the other universes out there follow the same laws of physics that exist in our universe. This makes the number of possible universes much more manageable and testable, since it's no longer an effort to understand infinite universes that could have different underlying rules of physics and chemistry. "We are not down to a single, unique universe, but our findings imply a significant reduction of the multiverse, to a much smaller range of possible universes," Hawking said in a statement last fall.

Essentially Hawking proved that the multiverse is real - our universe contains multiple versions of itself. These versions are mostly the same as ours though - they have the same physics and chemistry. In fact, they're just slight variations of ours. Our universe branches off into multpiple versions of itself, but each version is one difference away from the other. Hawking wrote, "our universe is like an infinite fractal, with a mosaic of different pocket universes."

It's like that movie Sliding Doors. What if you didn't make that train you were supposed to make? Would your life be different? Each choice you make branches out into a different multiverse and continues to evolve differently after that fork in reality.



It's also similiar to the premise of Source Code - alternative realities are happening in different multiverses at the same time and it's possible to move between them.



The Illuminati use these Jade eggs to navigate between these different universes so they can grab footage of whatever universe where they get the outcome they desire.

The illuminati not only make bad players look good, they make good players look bad. If the Illuminati want to make you look like you miss they can use their jade eggs to pull from a universe where you missed. You now have to hit a birdie shot in 1000 universes at once in order to be guaranteed the birdie if you're a player the Illuminati doesn't like.

Not only do the Illuminati use their jade eggs to choose the worst result of a player's play if they want to make them look bad, they also use the Jade eggs to physically and sexually assault players on the green. They'll essentially stop time and punch a player, or put a bunch of pygmies on his or her back, or touch a player's penis while he is driving (which they do to Tiger Woods a lot). Because time is stopped like in the movie Clockstoppers, the players can't see their interdimensional harrassers. They do feel the effects though which causes them to miss.



Tiger Woods comeback is a case of the illuminati spending quadrillions of dollars to make it looks like he's missing when he isn't. The illuminati really doesn't like Tiger because he's half African-American, half Chinese. Tiger is the most talented golf player on Earth. But all that skill still isn't enough to win anymore. All the other golfers around Tiger, the fake illuminati crime golfers spend quadrillions of dollars a day to make Tiger look like he misses.

Even if Tiger hits a birdie in all 1000 universes, the illuminati will allow other players to spend money to create computer graphics to make it look like Tiger misses. Whereas the bad players use computer graphics to completely fake their shots, they also use computer graphics to rob good players of their great shots. The result is that we, the American audience for golf, have to watch horrible golf that is incredibly inconsistent.

The reason golf has become a rotating list of winners with no clear dominant players is because of this illuminati system. Now the people who win tournaments are just the people who are willing to spend the most money to buy the tournaments that year. Patrick Reed's "win" at the Masters is a case in point. Patrick can't play but he does have a lot of money so he bought the Masters win. Sergio Garcio bought his "win" the year before.

Sergio didn't even make the cut at this Masters this year - he literally imploded on the fairway. Garcia made a Masters-record 13 on the par-5 15th hole in the second round, a baffling performance that saw him hit five consecutive balls into the water to end his title defense. Ever since, Sergio has been unable to escape questions about the collapse.

The illuminati has been using these Jade Eggs to cheat actively since the year 2001 but they've had them for much longer. The illuminati first got the eggs in 1947. Aliens crash landed in Roswell in 1947. The eggs were part of their ship cargo.